Over the last few years I’ve had the pleasure of providing professional coaching for a diverse group of a dozen or so Millennial professionals, managers, and executives in the workspace. Though it is a disparate group other than the age cohort, we’ve individually uncovered and worked on a fairly short list of remarkably common performance enhancers. Providing and Receiving Feedback has been a nearly unanimous item of interest. If this group is representative of the broader cohort, and I think it is, it stands to reason that sharing some of our learnings in this area might be of interest to a wider audience, certainly to include other generational cohorts. Here goes.

If you occupy a professional or managerial role, part of your job (often a significant part) is to provide feedback to others… Feedback pertaining to processes, performance, projects, et. al. And, at your stage of growth and maturation in the employment strata, you should also be on the receiving end of quite a bit of performance feedback. If not, you should worry, a lot, because people who aren’t being actively coached are being ill-served by the organization.

Giving Feedback: Giving feedback in the workspace is tough. We’ve not been especially well trained to do it, it’s not usually in our sweet spot, we haven’t witnessed many good examples, and the receivers of our well-intentioned efforts aren’t always cordial or interested. A few thoughts:

1. Be Mindful of Context – Most people will accept, possibly embrace feedback, even tough feedback, if presented in a safe setting. Do it in a threatening manner or in pubic, and all bets are off. Never, ever climb on someone’s bumper in public. If you are senior (by position) to the person you are offering feedback to, be especially mindful of the megaphone effect and element of fear that your position brings to the conversation. It is difficult to find the proper balance between being brutally candid (or overly rosy) and totally watering down the message, but you must find that balance. As best you can, try to frame the matter being discussed within the realm of the other person’s interests, not yours.
2. Make Meaning – When giving feedback, your job is to make meaning, not just emote. Specifically, you need to shape the message to the individual so that it is useful and meaningful to them, not anyone else. Take pains to ensure that your feedback occurs within the context of a conversation, not an assault, or an exercise in blowing smoke up someone’s nose. Whether positive or critical, your feedback needs to be focused (not a great long list) and specific, preferably evidencing things that you have personally experienced or witnessed. Allow sufficient time and space for a conversation to actually occur. Hint: If you ‘re doing more than about 60% of the talking, it isn’t a conversation. I usually mentally rehearse such a conversation a few times before having it. As with most things, the preparation works.
3. Ask Permission – Particularly when giving difficult feedback, it can help to begin by asking permission to deliver a tough message. For example, I’ve begun a lot of discussions with the question, “I think there is something that may be keeping you from being as effective as you want to be (or keeping you from accomplishing something that is important to you). Would you be interested in talking about it?” This approach is especially helpful when you are offering feedback up the food chain. There’s nothing wimpy about it whatsoever. Rather, you are simply displaying some beneficial respect. Moreover, it works. I’ve never had someone respond by saying, “no.”

Receiving Feedback: This is often more difficult than delivering feedback, yet far more beneficial personally. Some thoughts:

1. Assume positive intent – Start with the baseline assumption that the other person has pure motives, and that they are actually trying to help you. They probably are.
2. Listen! – This would be a very good time to put into practice the 2 ears / 1 mouth principle. Simply put, you’re not going to be able to effectively take in what someone is trying to tell you if all you are doing is readying your response to it. Indeed, the opposite of listening is waiting to talk. Give your lips a rest, and just listen!
3. Treat feedback as a Gift – Whether the feedback you are getting is positive or negative, be grateful for it. In fact, even if the other person’s feedback stings and draws a little blood, make it a point to let them know that you appreciate it and that you will give it due consideration. If for no other reason, it will keep them from becoming reluctant to come to you with an important message in the future.

These are but a few starters. If you’d like to continue the conversation or perhaps get some coaching, we’d be happy to hear from you.